I was always the skinny child.  Somewhere around middle school, that changed.  I didn’t blow up by any means but I wasn’t skinny anymore either.  Looking back I realize that I really was thin, but I don’t remember ever wearing less than a size 7.  In Middle school and High school that may as well have been a size 20!  So I was 5’4” and roughly 130lbs.

I had my first daughter when I was a month shy of 16. (I realize that made me 15 but that always sounds sooo bad to say.)  Anyways, my doctor scared me by telling me I shouldn’t eat sweets while pregnant so I cut out everything.  I mean EVERYTHING.  And I have always been a chocoholic.  I remember them offering chocolate chip cookies in my child birth class and feeling like I would wound my unborn child just by being in the same room with them.  I gained exactly 25lbs and lost almost all of it shortly after she was born.  I didn’t go out much around that time and started to become a couch potato.  But I was a potato that did sit-ups and crunches during every commercial!  I was quickly back to my fighting weight of 130lbs.

Over the next 2 years, I gained a few pounds. When I started Senior Year I weighed between 140-145lbs. Not a lot but it got me to a size 9.  When I see my senior pictures, I remember being at the studio and thinking that I was going to look like a fat cow in my pics. (What I wouldn’t give to be 145 right now!)  I gained a few pounds after High School but didn’t want to admit I was getting bigger.  I once bought a pair of jeans in a size 11 because I didn’t want anyone to notice my muffin top on the smaller size of the exact same jean.

I had my second daughter when I was 19.  I had a new doctor with this pregnancy and she told me I could eat whatever I wanted.  I didn’t need to be told twice…I gained 40lbs.  For those keeping count that would put me in the 185lbs range.  I wasn’t that worried, honestly.  After she was born I swore I would lose the weight.  (It came off so easy with child #1.)  Nobody told me that it’s harder with each kid.  I lost about 15lbs after she was born but that was mostly baby, she weighed 8lbs!  I was shopping with some friends a couple months after her birth and found a pair of jeans that I loved (and were on sale for a steal) but were a size 13.  I was a size 15 at this point but I swore I was going to lose that weight remember? I bought them in 2001…and have never worn them.

I’ve had desk jobs since I was 18 and so have led a sedentary lifestyle.  I’ve been with a doctor’s office for the past 13 years and Drug Reps bring in all sorts of bad-for-you things to eat.  Don’t get me wrong, I love them, which has led to my gradual increase to my current weight.  I say gradual because I would notice that I gained weight and attempt to do something about it.  There-in started my lose-10 gain-15, lose-15 gain-20 routine.  I write to you now as a whopping 200lbs 32 yr old woman who wears a size 19.  (Which is actually down from my highest of 225lbs.)  I still have the jeans from 2001 and would love to wear them just once…